Day 219. in which we introduce metaphysical Bobisms.

Even now, Dad tries to hide the issues with his memory. It's embarrassing to him and I think it was for a long time before anyone could identify a 'problem' with Dad. In some ways, Dad is still very clever so it's hard to tell when he's kidding and when he isn't.

And I think because of this, I am uncertain the problems with Dad's memory really began.

A couple of Friday afternoons ago, Kyrce and I wandered Uptown to Hudson Coffee Traders with Dad to meet an old friend of ours we hadn't seen in a year. No one was around to keep an eye on Dad so I decided to bring him with me. I thought he might enjoy tagging along and getting out of the house for a bit.

Dad was truly in rare form on this afternoon. I don't think any of us could get a sentence out without Dad interrupting. When I asked him to please not interrupt, he insisted that if he didn't interrupt, we'd never let him get a sentence in! Disgusted with us trying to quiet him, he decided he'd 'take a walk'.

The back walls of Hudson Coffee Traders is lined with full length mirrors which round the room. The room itself is round once you enter the sitting area in the back. It's a bit disconcerting at first when you enter the back because it takes a moment for one's brain to decide if the room is another room, or if it's a reflection.

There were a few other people in the back of the cafe, including an artist hanging up her paintings above the mirrored part of the wall. Bob was wandering around a bit, heading towards the front of the store at first but then turning back towards the mirror.

I hung my head down, as I noticed a couple of others in the cafe looking at him inquisitively. I hoped Dad would not run into the mirror.

He did not. He stopped in front of the mirror and looked at himself.

"Hey, nice hat you got there, guy! Yeah! It says 'Guinness'.,, Hey, that's just like mine!...yeah, I'm with those ladies over there...yeah, that's good...well. Well, I better get back over there now."

Dad turned around slowly and wandered back over to the table. I honestly wasn't sure if he was pulling my leg or if he really thought his reflection was some other man with the same Guinness hat.

He sat down at the table across from me and leaned in as if to share a secret.

"There was a really strange man over there talking to me!" he said to us.

That's just the way Dad is, and was. Cover any confusion up with a joke.

Inevitably, I wander around the house, searching for something. I'm scratching my head every day for the same things - the kids' shoes; my ATM card; the hair brush (of which I keep 3, since I constantly misplace them). This shouldn't scare me. But it does.

When did it all begin?

* * *

"Am I still here?" Dad asks.

"I think so. Am I still here?" I ask him in return.

"Well, if you're still here, I must still be here. Don't leave me alone here, OK?"

"OK, Dad."

Day 218. in which even the mundane isn't obvious.

Trying to be economical, I vied for the generic bar soap over the shower gel I typically buy. 59¢. What the hell. Why not? The savings equaled at least a cup of coffee.

The width of the bathroom, between counter and wall, is little more than a 3 foot span. At the far end of the bathroom is a shower, which itself is not much wider than 3 feet and is no more than a stall; there is no basin for bathing.

Four of us stood going no where fast.

Lily was the furthest in, then Dana, then Liam, then me. Lil had already stripped down but refused to get into the shower until Liam was in the shower.

"But Lil! We can't get past you. You have to get in so then Liam can get in," I pleaded.

Lil didn't get the logistics of it and refused to budge.

The plan was to get Lil and Liam in the shower. Dana and I believe the angst and frustration is far lower if we tag-team child-wrangling. Dana will take Lil, I'll take Liam.

Dana once said to me, during a bout of sleeplessness and sick kids, "Isn't it nice how we can be single parents together?"

Sometimes the spatial logistics are a concern. Even so, it's easier to do this task together. Two showers in one. Economical in both time and money.

I pushed past Dana to Lil with Liam. I quickly undressed him and placed him in the shower. Lil followed immediately behind.

There wasn't much room to move with all of the toys on the floor of the shower. Liam was playing with the empty bottle of shower gel while Lil washed her little brother's back with the bar of soap.

Dana and I stood back for a minute to let them play.

"Oh! That's nice, Lil! I like how you help Liam," I said.

Dana and I smiled at each other and in the moment we were looking at each other was the same moment Lil dropped the soap on the floor of the shower and reached up with her soapy little hand to rub her eye.

Instant screaming.

"I don't understand! What's wrong, Lil?" I asked. The soap wasn't in her hands any more and I hadn't connected the screaming with the soap yet.

Lil reached up to her eye again. Still screaming.

"It's on her hands! Quick! Grab her hands!" Dana shouted, lunging forward with a towel. He grabbed Lil out of the shower and was trying to comfort her. I was peering over his shoulder and trying to get a peek at Lil's eyes.

When a louder screaming began.

In the moment we had rescued Lil, we let Liam do the same damned thing.

The bar of soap fell with a clunk on the floor of the shower as Liam rubbed his eyes. I ineffectively tried to wash his hands off in the shower water but he kept fighting me off and rubbing his eyes. The more I tried to stop him, the more he got in his eyes.

I didn't have another towel at hand. I just grabbed him out of the shower and wrapped a t-shirt around him while he screamed, soaking my own clothes with his squirmy, wet, little body in the process.

I don't typically buy bar soap. I wasn't even thinking the kids would reach for their eyes after holding the soap.

A few weeks ago, I handed Grandpa Bob his can of aerosol deodorant spray. I told him to put his deodorant on. He proceeded to spray it in his face...

No instruction is too obvious.

Day 215. in which the Starship 2000 still operates.

The ride that once took you to the future now takes you to the past.


I can't do this one anymore, though the Starship 2000, known in ancient times as the "Gravitron", was once my favorite ride. I could go on this over and over again, without feeling ill. I was proud of this.

It had been such a mysterious ride. What would happen to you inside of there...?

I'm firmly planting my feet in 2008. Since I value my life and these traveling rides are now antiques, I don't think I'm too disappointed about this.